Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Al Franken Has A Little Tiny Pecker, a book by Armageddon
Now number 3 on the New York Times best seller list is Armageddons response to Al Franken's insipid book, "Rush Limbaugh Is A Big Fat Idiot" In it Armageddon explores the deep roots of Al's homophobia. "It began when his father started changing his diaper. Al felt as if he look disappointed when he pulled the side of his Huggies across and found nothing but a big turd. Even as a baby, hearing your Dad call out to his wife as you lay there exposed to the world, "Jesus Christ Edna, are you sure the doctors said this is a son? For the life of me I can't see anything with a point on it." can have lasting psychological consequences.
Worse yet is when Rabbi Robiniwitz came to the house to perform the Bris, went through all the incantations, only to open the diaper and declare "What is this? Is somebody pulling my Talmud? What do I look like, a micro-surgeon? I'm outta here till her bas mitzvah."
It is for this reason and the natural locker room taunts of the normally endowed teenagers during his Junior and Senior High School years in New York City that he began having insecurity about his manliness. He got his ass kicked by both boys and girls as neither group respected his weak and whiny personality and the pink dresses he wore to class.
It was when he was approached and intimately explored by Andy Warhol one day and Truman Capote the next at a Liberace party that he first experienced Man-Boy love and since then he has alternated between fervent NAMBLA supporter and virulent detractor.
Now he has almost surely stolen the election from an honorable Republican and has not one second of regret No, he blames this on his father who kept asking as Al grew up, "Why do I have to leave the seat down for you?"