Senator Harry Reid Suggests to Blogo Who Should Replace Obama

Senator Harry Reid (D-Nev) Majority Leader of the Senate and the entire Democrat Caucus, in a rare moment of solidarity, protest the possible inclusion of Ronald Burris, Governor Rod Blagojevich's pick to fill the seat vacated by Barack Hussein Obama.

According to tapes released by the prosecution, Reid was recorded speaking to the Governor a day before he was arrested. "Come on Rod, the senate is as full of Blacks as an NFL locker room. You walk through the doors and one is there holding it open. Around the corner you give one your coat and hat and get a chit. At the cafeteria one rustles up some ham and eggs and the southern senators have grits and the yankees have hash browns. His name is DeShamus and if you want eggs over medium, by God they're are done just right. TaWanda pours coffee and never lets your cup run out or get too cold. Why the Hell would you want to put another Black in the Senate.?"
With such prominent Blacks as Burris and Jesse Jackson Jr. who could get Budweiser and Schlitz Malt liquor wholesale, being excluded from Reid's recommendations, the Congressional Black Caucus insisted on a shoeshine kiosk, lavatory attendents and a barbershop or else they would riot. "Throw in a case of 40 ouncers and some ho's and you got a deal" a spokesman for the CBC said.
Senators Clinton, Boxer, Feinstein and Cantwell make sure the Cross embers are not too hot to start the hamburgers and hotdogs for the feast to launch the new congress.

Pennsylvanian's Expecting A Great Time by Armageddon

As reported in the AP today, folks from Pennsylvania who folk up $2500 get to attend a "Yes We Did" celebration in our nation's capital for the inauguration. For that they get two nights lodgings. At the celebration hosted by Fast Eddy Rendell and Senator Bob Casey, Sister Sledge, some long forgotten band will perform and Sharon Stone will sit onstage in a short skirt.
"Gorsh dang" one of the lucky ticket holders said. "I'll be right up front when the show starts to swat them flies"

Solving Illegal Immigration by Fearless Freep

Senator Harry Reid D-NEV
(pictured here capturing
that blank, mindless
expression he so
often sports)
Said today on Meet The Press
"Tim, my friend John McCain
and I are going to work on comprehensive immigration reform. First we will secure the border.
Then we will find a way to legalize those already here. It won't be an amnesty. They will have to buy carbon offsets from Al Gore for all their emissions. That will run about $3000 apiece."

Senator McCain's office issued a press release shortly after the program aired Sunday January 4th morning.

"This isn't the same as McCain-Kennedy, you %*%^$@. It isn't amnesty,a**h**e. We give them an English test and if they can press the right pictures on a McDonald's cash register, I'd say that makes them the equivalent of any inner city high school graduate, you #@!!$%^."

President Elect Obama has pledged to sign this right after pardoning himself for being in the country illegally.

Indications that Michelle Obama is a Classless Spoiled Woman by Armageddon

Despite rumors that Michelle was in fact Grace the Bass Player, she is giving every indication of taking the charm and coquettishness former First Lady Hillary Krinton made her hallmark and will bring her own style of change we can believe in. Surpassing this milestone will take copious amounts of culture and it is clear that Jacquiline Kennedy's sacred place on the pedistal of adoration may soon need expanding.
Let us first begin by citing the amazing revelation that just a few weeks ago, she was finally proud of her country. How big of her to lower her standards such that the land that has freed millions from tyrany abroad and from slavery here, including her ancestors, is now measuring up to her standards. The millions of Americans who shed their blood to accomplish this must also finally be proud of their country. How could we not all be touched by such magnanity.
Allowing her mother to come and live in the White House and care for her children to add stability to their lives once again can be seen as setting a higher standard than Jacky who cared for her two like any common housewife. Way to go Michelle.
Likewise complaining about not having special privilidges to move in early to Blair House so her children can attend school seems only reasonable and a cruel Republican scheme to not change tradition and kick out those already promised the house. Shame on Bush and his mean spirited decision.
Speaking of school, she chose the private one her children will attend the same way she does everything else. Instead of making an example like President Jimmy and Mrs. Carter did and sent Amy to public school in DC, she chose not to end up with TWO retards and sent them to a private school.
Just like lunch at the Waldorf where she looked at the menu and concluded "I'll have the most expensive thing and champaigne. What is it?" choosing the school was a snap. "What does it cost? I'll take the most expensive".
Yes citizens,we are going to be exposed to a level of culture and class unheard of in the White House for the next eight years. Imagine how refined she will be the first few times she catches Barack burried to the hilt in some white cockpit.

If Experiencing An Erection Lasting Four Hours by Fearless Freep

Seek Immediate Medical Attention

Armageddon's Solution For The GITMO Prisioners

Hey Barry

How about we turn them into

Organ Donors!

Illinois Politics As Usual by Armageddon

Rod Blagojevich. Governor of Illinois was arrested along with his chief of staff today by the FBI. He was allegedly demanding huge pay-off for appointing someone to Chairman Mau Mau's seat in the Senate.

If you look into his background, bet you will find pay-offs to his big contributors. Business as usual in Illinois. Do you think The Chairman is doing anything differently currently?