Pennsylvanian's Expecting A Great Time by Armageddon

As reported in the AP today, folks from Pennsylvania who folk up $2500 get to attend a "Yes We Did" celebration in our nation's capital for the inauguration. For that they get two nights lodgings. At the celebration hosted by Fast Eddy Rendell and Senator Bob Casey, Sister Sledge, some long forgotten band will perform and Sharon Stone will sit onstage in a short skirt.
"Gorsh dang" one of the lucky ticket holders said. "I'll be right up front when the show starts to swat them flies"

Solving Illegal Immigration by Fearless Freep

Senator Harry Reid D-NEV
(pictured here capturing
that blank, mindless
expression he so
often sports)
Said today on Meet The Press
"Tim, my friend John McCain
and I are going to work on comprehensive immigration reform. First we will secure the border.
Then we will find a way to legalize those already here. It won't be an amnesty. They will have to buy carbon offsets from Al Gore for all their emissions. That will run about $3000 apiece."

Senator McCain's office issued a press release shortly after the program aired Sunday January 4th morning.

"This isn't the same as McCain-Kennedy, you %*%^$@. It isn't amnesty,a**h**e. We give them an English test and if they can press the right pictures on a McDonald's cash register, I'd say that makes them the equivalent of any inner city high school graduate, you #@!!$%^."

President Elect Obama has pledged to sign this right after pardoning himself for being in the country illegally.

Indications that Michelle Obama is a Classless Spoiled Woman by Armageddon

Despite rumors that Michelle was in fact Grace the Bass Player, she is giving every indication of taking the charm and coquettishness former First Lady Hillary Krinton made her hallmark and will bring her own style of change we can believe in. Surpassing this milestone will take copious amounts of culture and it is clear that Jacquiline Kennedy's sacred place on the pedistal of adoration may soon need expanding.
Let us first begin by citing the amazing revelation that just a few weeks ago, she was finally proud of her country. How big of her to lower her standards such that the land that has freed millions from tyrany abroad and from slavery here, including her ancestors, is now measuring up to her standards. The millions of Americans who shed their blood to accomplish this must also finally be proud of their country. How could we not all be touched by such magnanity.
Allowing her mother to come and live in the White House and care for her children to add stability to their lives once again can be seen as setting a higher standard than Jacky who cared for her two like any common housewife. Way to go Michelle.
Likewise complaining about not having special privilidges to move in early to Blair House so her children can attend school seems only reasonable and a cruel Republican scheme to not change tradition and kick out those already promised the house. Shame on Bush and his mean spirited decision.
Speaking of school, she chose the private one her children will attend the same way she does everything else. Instead of making an example like President Jimmy and Mrs. Carter did and sent Amy to public school in DC, she chose not to end up with TWO retards and sent them to a private school.
Just like lunch at the Waldorf where she looked at the menu and concluded "I'll have the most expensive thing and champaigne. What is it?" choosing the school was a snap. "What does it cost? I'll take the most expensive".
Yes citizens,we are going to be exposed to a level of culture and class unheard of in the White House for the next eight years. Imagine how refined she will be the first few times she catches Barack burried to the hilt in some white cockpit.

If Experiencing An Erection Lasting Four Hours by Fearless Freep

Seek Immediate Medical Attention

Armageddon's Solution For The GITMO Prisioners

Hey Barry

How about we turn them into

Organ Donors!

Illinois Politics As Usual by Armageddon

Rod Blagojevich. Governor of Illinois was arrested along with his chief of staff today by the FBI. He was allegedly demanding huge pay-off for appointing someone to Chairman Mau Mau's seat in the Senate.

If you look into his background, bet you will find pay-offs to his big contributors. Business as usual in Illinois. Do you think The Chairman is doing anything differently currently?

Voodoo Bailouts by Armageddon

Voodoo Bailouts


The Left likes to think in simple terms. They can hang onto " Reaganomics", though it is a pretty long word, or they can stick with "voodoo economics". This sums up eight years of prosperity by dismissing the facts with a slur.
Currently, actions in Washington DC actually deserve a term derived from the voodoo concept. We have Voodoo Bailouts. Voodoo's greatest product is to raise brain dead zombies and set them off looking fro brains to eat. Anyone who believes the bailouts address the causes of the problems is certainly in need of fresh brains. Handing out trillions of dollars we don't have to banks made illiquid by Democrat largess in terms of sub prime loans to people too poor to make payments and in the case of many, illegal aliens is insane. Likewise shoveling cash at the Big Three when their union contracts push costs for blue collar production jobs to the $74 per hour range, when the wages of their customers is probably a small fraction of that amount proves conclusively those in DC need massive infusions of neurons.